it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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