Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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