Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
