So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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