if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
