You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
