wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
