does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
