Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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