I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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