he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I am mentally ready for anal.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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