Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think your dad took our porno
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
