remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
