He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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