I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
