Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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