just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
