Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
