he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
