sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So here I am, sexting at work.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
