Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
