tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am one with the molecules
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
