I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
