Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
