last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
