Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
