yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
