Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
