Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
