i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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