She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
