yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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