That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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