At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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