So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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