I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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