shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
