WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
