I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize