Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
