census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
