it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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