I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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