Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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