We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
