that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
