He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
