porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
