Welp...herpes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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