can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
