I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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