I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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