i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I understand Curling. That high.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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