Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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