the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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