He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
