i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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