if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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