My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
